Trapped in a body that doesn't feel like mine | anewgrandma's Blog

It still feels so strange to be in this position. Most of the time I am a strong and optimistic woman. Most of the time I tackle these obstacles With strength and determination. Most of the time you will see a smile on my face. But once in a while I go to the dark place... a place full of such anguish and despair... Silent screaming in my head....and in the end I'm still in the same position I cannot change. Luckily this doesn't happen often and I can stand up and count my blessings and be thankful I am here to be with my family, For my family. People who meet me say I have such a great attitude toward life. Simply put, this experience has taught me to cherish life and to really make the most of mine. I just don't know exactly how to do that, I no longer have a direction to travel. I am sitting at a crossroads and cannot read any of the street signs. I know I am a mother I know I am a grandmother. Those parts of me are strong and proud. But the rest of me....really doesn't know me. Sometimes I feel so lost. But I keep plugging along, getting up every day, doing what I have to do....what else can I do?

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Posted on 10:31PM on Dec 24th, 2012
Hummm...Maybe you're right. "Sometimes we need to be lost for a while..." Yes, it resonates with me. I've been caught up in a whirlwind lately, perhaps slowing down And taking a deep breath would be good for me. I think it's easy to lose perspective when one is In the middle of an emotional time. Thank you for reading my blog and your response!
Posted on 11:09PM on Dec 24th, 2012
I'm pretty lost myself right now, I'm going through a rough time, have two beautiful girls who I love more than anything... But I feel lost, like I don't fit anywhere... I hope you find your way, I hope things get better for you.
Posted on 12:43AM on Dec 25th, 2012
There needs to be a lost and found for people like us. If nobody claims us we are up for grabs. If nobody grabs us, we will be donated to charity. From there, we go to someone who needs us. If that doesn't happen, then I suppose we would be recycled!
I'm not implying we need someone else in our life in order to not be lost. I was merely attempting to be witty! (to make you smile) I actually believe its better to figure it out without the influence of somebody else.
But it really sucks to lay in bed at night feeling lost and confused. It's such a lonely space to be in.
That's when I shop Amazon! Which is bad. You know when I'm getting packages on a daily basis that I'm not fairing well.
If I don't get un-lost pretty soon I'll be broke! (Smiling?)
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Previous Posts
My partner, my Friend, posted January 2nd, 2013
To eat or not to eat?, posted January 1st, 2013
Trapped in a body that doesn't feel like mine, posted December 23rd, 2012, 3 comments

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